why is it that whenever i am trying my best to do something for someone,
i end up pissing them off?

i am tired of doing things that is not done for myself
i am tired of not being able to do what i wish to do

i am tired being home and feeling invisible
i am tired of disappointing my parents to please the other important person

i have tried my best to please both sides
but why do i always end up pissing them off together?

i am sorry
perhaps, i am just a failure
i don't deserve my family
and i don't deserve you

i know i have told a million lies
so it is impossible for you to believe me even when i am telling the truth
i understand
that's why all i can say is
i don't deserve anyone
i am sorry

is it true when they say that no one can remain as a couple after years together
if they do not move on to the next level - marriage?

is it really the end for us?
sigh

whatever the outcome,
i'll gladly receive my punishment
because i don't wish to fight anymore