hais..survived last night with jam's help..she chatted with mi on e phone till two am..chatted a lot abt guys and everything.i guess..the breakup was not his fault..i contributed to it too..hais..since dono when..i've changed frm a very obedient girl who always listens n does wat he wants mi to do..nv answer back or be rude to him...to a girl which i can say..knows wat is right..i sacrificed many things to be with him..precious stuff..my parents and my bestest friend ever..gladys..when i realised tt life seemed so lonely for mi..i felt tt i shud change..stop thinking abt doing things for him only.wat abt my parents?i cant be so selfish..and..when i was with him..i was like living his life..not my life.couldnt do ordinary stuff like wat a normal teenager wud do..being controlled more than my parents do.couldnt go out with friends.i cant even remember when and why we had this policy of forbidding one another from going out with friends.things got so bad tt i started lying to him in order to go out with my friends..we quarreled and broke up many times coz of this.y did i lie.coz i wanted to breakfree.u dont lie when u go out with friends coz u know i wont be upset if u mention it to mi.wat abt mi.each time i asked if i could go out.u'll get all so upset n angry.recently.he said tt i didnt cared much about him anymore.i didnt do the things i promised him in e past.promises i made when i allowed myself to shut others out of my life except him.yes.sounds sweet.but then i realised this is a very insensitive and selfish act.i neglected the people around mi.ppl who cared and love mi too.i guess we broke up due to my change..he tot i was selfish..thinking only for myself..but no..i'm thinking for everyone else who cares n loves mi..just coz u're not e only one in my world doesnt mean tt i dont love or care for u..it's just tt my care n love is not focused only on u alone..but also on parents too..maybe he just cant accept this change in me and i cant accept his idea of only always thinking of him n doing things for him.i believe he too thinks for his mummy too..i shall call u one last time..baby..i dont blame u for wat happen neither do i want you to hate mi for wat i've done..if u're to be more mature..u'll realise tt love is never to be only belonged to one person but it can also be given to many other group of ppl..like families..you'll also realised tt love has gives and takes..i guess i've given too much for this relationship..so much so that i now just want to give more to my parents..ppl whom i also love as deeply as i love you..we have become so comfortable with each other..thinking aiya..she/he wont mind de la..but some actions do hurt oneself too..tt was the last thing tt happen to us.shud learn to understand this fact tt no matter how close we are..we still must have respect for one another..and i have always respected you..i know u do too.but some actions of urs dont..and i too have scolded u with vulgarities..why?coz i got carried away..too angry and i really feel bad about it..i hope if we ever get back together..our love story will be so much better~!no matter wat happens..i still hope u'll get the best and will be happy..i miss you..i really do but i really want us to see ou flaws in our relationship and see how we could have done certain things better..for one another so tt if we ever get back together..ou love story will be flawless which is too unrealistic but at least..close to being flawless..i love you baby..and i also love my parents too..this breakup..gives mi time to return my love to my parents..after hurting them so badly in e past..they've changed for mi..i shud too..take the effort to change for them..