why does it always happen to me?

when I couldnt get into the course I wanted
i was left with no choice but to just take the course I was given

i knew then that it was because I didn't deserve any rights to choose; i did not study hard enough

when i finally decided to fight for my right to choose by studying hard,
i'm still left with something which i did not wish for

do i really deserve this after working so hard?
i studied hard for everything, why such outcomes?

why did God forget about me?