yes.i'm back on fridays!

was SAMANTHA's birthday on wednesday.didnt get to mi her to give her smt i made for her.=)).happy birthday to her.i noe i'm late but i've already sms-ed her on tt day itself le.=)).LAO NU REN.muahahas.we're in e same boat.lalalas.

have been busy lately.doing tutorials and researches and catching up on note writing.yups.exam's in one week's time.gotta buck up coz i think i'm quite slack lately.lols.shite me!..

feeling moody lately..
sometimes i wish he could pay more attention to me even thou i cant spend time w/ him.i believe by not meeting he'd be more concerned abt me.but i was wrong.he doesnt seem to have my attention.i sound like some attention seeker.hais.sometimes i tell him stuff and he just doesnt gimme e replies that i want.when i'm sad and scared..he doesnt comfort me....COZ HE DIDNT READ MY SMS-es PROPERLY.hais.why?he's e one who is free and i'm e one who's busy yet y cant he show more attention towards me?..i just feel like we're one mile apart now.noe tt he's free he doesnt make an effort to make mi happy.when he is in camp he says he misses mi.

i jus dun understand why girls who treat their boyfriends like cow dung can have a boyfriend who is willing to do things for them all e time.making breakfast for them..waiting for the girl's sch to end and just fetch her home.i noe i stay very far..but even at night when we dont talk on e phone.he doesnt make an effort to send mi messages from his heart.everyday is the same old thing.same old sms.hais.maybe he's just tired of everything.but have i ever been tired?..when i pick up a cashcard.i think of him..thinking he had lost his cashcard so i can give it to him then.

does he even think of mi when i'm not w/ him.sometimes when i'm with him..i still feel as thou he isnt aware of my existence.he is always tired.y cant he just sleep early.every night i'll always be the one asking if he's coming to fetch me.

YOU HAVE SO MUCH TIME TO YOURSELF WHY CANT U JUST PUT IN EFFORT TO DO SMT NOW TT U HAVE ALL THE TIME U WANT.INSTEAD U SLEEP PLAY MAHJONG AND THAT'S TT.JUST COZ I DONT HAVE TIME FOR U SO U dont CARE.

W/ FRIENDS CANT READ MY SMS PROPERLY...I JUST HATE THE FEELING TT U DUN CARE ABOUT ME.ALL U CARE ABOUT IS UR LIFE AND HOW U GONNA KILL UR BOREDOM.LAST NIGHT U KNEW I WAS UPSET BUT U COULDNT BE BOTHERED.WHY MUST I CALL U.IF U'RE REALLY CONCERNED U'D CALL ME RIGHT AWAY.FARK EVRYTHING AND MAYBE FARK MYSELF FOR BEING SO WHINY.FARK MYSELF FOR BEING SCARED COZ U CANT BE BOTHERED W/ ME.I'M NON-EXISTENT IN UR WORLD.

maybe all u need is urself..ur friends..ur mother..and not me.since i cant spend time w/ u.
always thot tt distance makes the heart fonder..but no.it's all wrong when it's with u..mayb one day if we dont meet or talk for a week.u might even forget tt i didnt contact you.





i feel it fading in u.maybe i'm already faded..='(
and i'm scared.i want him who is constantly doing things just to make me happy.i guess u're not tt guy anymore.and maybe i'm not tt girl u wanted anymore...


my decision:

just study hard.wont give up my studies for u.coz u gimme e feeling tt one day u might just leave me.i dun wanna be left w/ stupidity and dumbness aft being dumped.

i wont think so much.maybe i should just let it fade..i cant do anything if u cant do anything.i'll not do anything ,anymore.

i'll let u live ur life and i'll live my life too.i wont control ur life anymore.i wont get mad nor sad by u.


this is a promise to myself..coz i feel faded in u.