9th march06
went out with jamie + samantha to cineleisure.went to shilin for lunch.havent had appetite lately.i didnt eat.chat over lunch and went to walk ard b4 going to KBOX!
crap lahhs.only 3 hrs to slp.last time mi n jam can sing for 5 hrs lo.yet for the same price..neh neh!
we were high lahs.sang sad songs..jamie went on solo with her rainie songs and my horrible singing with sam trying to sing really low songs.lols.we went on to sing oldies STAYING ALIVE by beegees.to SHE BANGS with some funny dance moves.we did it forgetting ppl could see us frm opposite.lols.actually.i think we all sounded great together.lols.felt to power.lols.well.we were like on a marathon lahs.sang only half of each song coz we only had 3 hrs yet so many songs we wanna sing.lols.so rush lahhs.and jam + mi frightened ourselves in the toilet.i almost pulled jam's finger out.lols.i was the cause.i think too much le.tot got ghost or smt.lols.=PP
left KBOX at 5.30pm and went to take neoprints!we were so ghostly.we were all white.lols.but it was still ok lahhs.=))took a cab to dear's place after tt.waited outside for some time coz i didnt bring his keys and no one answered when i knocked on his door.den his mum open the door to put her slippers out and saw mi.lols.went in and waited for dear for so long lahs.was kinda angry but it's coz he was waiting for the porridge he bought for mi tt's y late.even thou i said i didnt want dinner.dear still bought it for mi.felt very happy.i just love it when he takes the initiative to do something for mi and not do things coz i ask him to.tt way..he's just pleasing mi.but with his own initiative,it shows it's really frm his <3..shows his care and love.but i guess..such things only happen once in a very blue moon.he went to JB yesterdAY and bought mi a shirt.was happy again for his initiative.shows tt he thought of mi even when he's with his friends in JB..




his initiative=his love care and concern for mi from the bottom of his <3

if only he is always like tt..
now tt he has a bike..he doesnt noe his way around..why??i may not know my way..but i sure noe the way to his hse.but he doesnt know his way to my house.hais.guess it's coz i go to him more often than he comes to mi..each time he asks mi how to go come my hse..i feel very disappointed..if i say him..he'll pek chek.just hate the feeling of quarreling.
he seem so careless since we came back frm genting.hais..and now tt he's got a bike.i'm even more worried for him..maybe i'm paranoid.but i just wish he'd take care of his own things more and drive safely.i feel so insecure these days..first..due to lack of his care n concern..now tt's already over..i'm insecure again coz of his attitude towards his own things..so careless and i really hope he'll just drive safely lahhs.


I HATE TO WORRY FOR HIM..!HATE TO FEEL SO INSECURED...!

well..i guess i'm depressed again!

why does my happiness only last for a few days?..haix

went to J8 for a movie'DATE MOVIE' was funny and dear seemed so tired.each time i see him so tired i feel damn bad.felt as thou i tortured him..hais.but why???why is he always tired whenever he's with mi?why is he tired lately?hais..why???!!!!
i hate it when he's feeling tired.coz even when i'm by his side..he doesnt seem to be near and i feel lonely most of the time.
i want his company so badly these days but he is always tired.hais.
went home straight after the movie.see him so tired i dun even want to walk ard le.will only make mi feel worst..like torturing him even thou i know he wud walk ard with mi even if he's tired.hais..i saw INDRA..my pri sch friend who hates mi..why?i dono.she seems happy and she didnt recognise mi.well.guess she's forgotten all abt mi..hais.

maybe i'm not likeable.majority of my sch classes dun like mi.why??..
but i'm still glad tt i have jam by mi.
somehow i have this feeling tt dear will grow to dislike mi one day.coz i'm so bloody irritating.

lately..i just feel like a baby..crying out for someone to give mi their attention!especially dear's..but everyone cant seem to hear mi.i'm screaming in my heart..

I WANT DEAR'S COMPANY.I DUN WANT HIM TO BE ALWAYS TIRED WHEN HE'S WITH MI..!

why is he tired whenever he's with mi???why??


is it because i give him too much pressure....? hais

i feel so empty inside