this is for that someone, with endless of terms&conditions for me.

something i read from gladys' blog, & also the reason why every once in a while i get frustrated with our relationship.

"You know like how married couples get married and then they just leave their relationship there and then. But that's not how you maintain a relationship. It's like maintaining a pot of flowers. By maintaining it, you water it every day and check on alternate days if there are any infection or insects.

A couple of days back I embarked on my journey of a million miles to school, and during the arduous journey, I so very kindly gave up my seat to this pregnant lady who was going to work with her husband. She sat and she waved at her husband, asking him to come over and stand near her. Oh that's because she was actually kind of far away from the seat.Anyway, for some unknown reason, the bloody man didn't want to go over to stand with her. I didn't really understand why either. But due to a higher power, after about ten minutes, the stupid fella then went over to stand with her. The poor lady, she was trying to have a conversation with him and he just ignored her. She stretched her arm out fully and held onto his hand, which mind you, was kept crossed tightly to his body.I really couldn't understand. I mean it's none of my business and I'm in no position to comment, but why is he treating her like this? It is because she's pregnant and thus unattractive. The woman, has suffered probably 8 months with morning sickness and peeing up to twenty times a day, and she's going to suffer for 4 hours in labour, thereafter a torn and bleeding vagina, huge heavy and sore breasts and probably hormones change which will make her look horrible, and that idiot actually just ignored her with the train full of people.I can't even fathom the kind of treatment he gives her in the privacy of their own home.

I always believed in having an active role in maintaining relationships. It might sound like fiction or a very worn-out movie plot, but I'm telling you, if no one puts in the effort, the relationship or marriage won't just become stagnant, it will stagger backwards and fall into a pit. I guess in a way, people don't see the importance of maintaining their happiness, that's why everytime when you go out, you see a lot of sullen-looking couples walking around looking as unhappy as they ever could be.I don't ever, ever want to be like that.

I mean you just imagine now, just imagine that you've found this person of your dreams, and he/she is really really all you can ask for and you really really loveeee this person to bits. Then both of you get married, buy a beautiful apartment with a great view, both of you are happy. You stand together at the balcony looking out at the sunset, then a couple of days later you are very tired after work and you prefer to just sit on the sofa and watch telly. And soon, no one ever goes to the balcony anymore.It takes mighty effort to maintain a relationship, that's not a lie, that's not anything of depth. It is just the plain truth. It's hard to maintain a relationship.

I remember once during service, a lady from Korea came to give us a sermon. She's quite old and she talked about maintaining her marriage. There was once her husband came home really late from work and she spent the whole night waiting for him to come home. When he finally got home, he told her to make coffee. She was perplexed. She thought I spent the whole night waiting for you, and now you want me to make me coffee? Then at that moment, I agreed with her too. Then she said, "But I realised something and I went to make the coffee anyway. It's already so late and instead of sleeping, he wants to have coffee with me." "

if we go on like how we do now, i see us fading away in a year. seriously, everything that is happening now is making me really upset & losing faith in our relationship. now you know why i always feel so unhappy with you? cos you are not doing anything to maintain our relationship. old couples still give each other surprises, taking note of the things she like & buying them for her on a normal day as a surprise. kissing her randomly to tell her she's beautiful. it's all these small actions that keep a relationship going. it's all these actions that i do not get that makes me so unahppy all the time! if i can't get all these, i guess there's no point being in a such a dead relationship, i'd rather be alone & die lonely in my bed when i'm old.
cos i don;t feel like i am in love anymore.

watched this quite some time back with baby, seriously i can only remember a bit of the show. all in all, it was a sweet show, which happens to almost everyone of us. when you are young & you treat your girl like your world. but as we grow up & get preoccupied by all the responsibilities, money & work, we tend to pay lesser attention to the ones right next to us. well, i did get the gist of the show even though i was half drunk cos i was drinking before the show. LOLS, that's amelia for you (:

my beloved granny's 94th birthday! 25th april 2009
held at zhou's kitchen far east square. i never knew that place existed. the atmosphere there was rather nice for chilling out & drinking with friends. (:
the food was good, it was an ala-carte buffet.
reached home around 11pm & baby came to fetch at 2am tgt with ivan, zx & wx. went to paradiz centre for sg pools? but it was closing so we went cineleisure for a movie (:

caught Taken. it was ggggrrrrrreeeeaat! i was so engrossed with the show & so thrilled that i even shrink my toes & fingers. LOLS. it was sweet how the father went all ways to get his daughter back from the kidnappers who didn't want any ransom. they wanted girls to be prostitutes or traded to freaking rich businessmen such as the sheiks. at the last part, it showed 3 girls being offered to one fat arabic old man. i turned to baby & asked: he can handle so many meh? LOLS. it is kinda scary & dawned on me that such things really do happen in reality. two thumbs up for this movie. i was so overwhelmed by the movie that i spent the following 2 hours thinking about it. LOLS. & having liam neeson as a father would be wwwoow? cos he is really charming for his age.

woke up the next day & headed to sakura at clementi woods to celebrate ivan's bday. i wonder who ever eats there! the food sucked to max, i swear! it'll be the first & last time i'm ever going there. why did the little nonya even want to endorse for them? i swear it was the worst buffet i have ever been to! seriously, it is in my condemned list (:
been learning clothes making from my nainai lately. & i just came back from her place. i finally completed a skirt of my own! (:, though a tedious process, it was satisfying. so much so, when i go shopping i'd say to myself that i should learn how to make the dresses that i am eyeing! yaynesss man! i am so proud of myself. now, who wants to buy me a sewing machine? =D

we were all geared up ready to be housewives at j8 ntuc supermarket! (:
we really make good housewives i must say, we even worked within our budget.

it was all down to chopping garlics & cooking back at jam's. samantha was obviously the best out of the 3 of us, she cooked with like so much confidence. jam's mushrooms failed cos she used the wrong mushrooms, but since she said she had made better ones before, i'll be waiting to taste her original mushrooms (: i was the cheater, i simply wrapped cocktail sausages with shaved ham & tossed them into the oven. hehes, it was impact ok?! it tasted like sausage & ham ok! hahas

after washing up & all, we sat down on the sofa simply just chatting away. it felt like we have gone back to the good old days (: i love the feeling of just lazing around with friends & having heart-to-heart talks, talking abt growing up, the responsibilities & the decisions we have to make in life & talking about our soulmates. i felt as though we are 3 tai-tais happily married or something. hahas. the only missing topic was on our kids? (: jam the makeup artist then evolved & sam & i became really satisfied customers. took quirky pictures with quirky sunglasses & soon sam & i cabbed home tgt. it was a great day, talking about the good old days & laughing abt events that happened during out field trip to australia. i love days like these! laid back & with great company, what more can i ask for? xD

julia came home and asked: i thought you'all are gg picnic?
we were cooking and preparing and all of the sudden, we naturally & unknowingly placed our food onto plates and started eating. LOLS. so the picnic didn't happen & the frigging weather is killing us! though we didn't have picnic as planned, we had tons of fun chilling out yo! love you babes, can't wait for next meeting =D date me date me! i am like rotting & soon, i'll decompose!

after so long, i still can't get this bag out of my head! LOLS, superly broke! i'll just settle for a longchamp for uni xD

today's our 67th month tgt (:
baby isn't a romantic person to start with
but he will always live up to my expectations
always being the man of my dreams
always trying his best to make me happy
because i bitch alot when i don't get what i want
so to save himself from the torture, he would usually just gimme what i want
the thing about girls are, we expect certain things to be done without having to tell our bf, once told to our bfs,even if they do it, it would be of a different meaning already.
maybe that's why guys can never understand girls?

anyway, whenever i see friends with love problems with some other guy, breaking up or being betrayed, having to start all over with another guy, i feel so protected.
somehow, being with baby for the past 5 years surely protected my against all those heartbreaks others suffer whilst searching for their soulmate.
plainly because, i have found my soulmate
while my friends have not & are still searching.
baby wasn't my first love, but he is the only true bf i ever had
the ones i had before him were like a major joke. totally not a bf to me then.

though i can be really a big fat bitch all the time,
i still stand by the rule that boyfriends should always make their girlfriends happy. (:
and thanks baby for always trying to make me happy, tolerating my stupid & irritating attitude, my horrible memory cos i tend to repeat same stories to baby & for my short term memory cos i seriously can't remember most stuffs well.
most of the time i feel really fortunate to have baby, of cos we had our tough times too. those are the only days i tend to start a bitch fit. all in all, i am still one fortunate girl (:

baby is the one i always run to when i have a bad day at home, or when i am tired & need a shoulder to rest on. i hardly share stuff with my parents so baby plays a really important role in my life other than my dearest daddy. cos they are the ones i confide in in times of confusion.
he is my bestest friend, my soulmate
i just hope that he'll love me the same when i look all wrinkly & auntie in future (:
because, i love this unclebaby of mine already.
i just hope we stay as we are now (:
i love you, baby!

life has been mundane
i need some excitement?

i dislike us now, not that it's bad btw us
but, everything's just so freaking mundane now! sighhhh
we're lacking of some spices to spice up our love ):
are all couples like this once they date for too long?
i hate such feelings like we are not appreciating the time spent together ):
i swear i am an irritating gf who needs reassurance every once in a while.
i am the kind who goes for the "iloveyous" every single day else i would lose sleep
that explains why i can't seem to sleep well for the past few weeks

i wish for something to spice up our relationship! ):
don't ask me what is it. cos i don't know either, i just want something done to our relationship
i don't want to see us not having our own sweet personal time just cos we'll be living together soon!
oh no, i feel like crying & i fear cohabiting now ;(
i want you to still hold me like it's the end of the world when we have kids, grow old together, NOW!
where's all the random hugs & kisses & sweet surprises? sigh

met babylove last night, i am having the frogleg fever now!
baby brought me to chinatown for frogleggs (:
such a glutton i know!
stayed over. babylove knocked out, leaving jack daniels to accompany me through the night.
btw, do you guys dig my bf's radiant smile? LOLOLOLOLS!
woke up & had lunch cooked by auntie (:
left for vivo to check out my stuffs, trying on stuff the second time didnt seem as chio as the first time.
not a bad thing actually, means i'll be saving money since all of them have been striked out of my wants-list!
bought a top/dress from f21 & braaas. But butbut! fuck it? i need to go back to get the sizes changed! the salesgirl took the wrong sizes for me! i hope i can get them changed, else money gone with the wind??? ):
P.S : leeling, i got lasenza membershipppp! yayness man (: can flood wardorbe with pretty brrrraaaaassss!

saw an sms frm baby's friend this morning saying: i'm not cuming today.
so i showed the msg to bf and said to him: eh, reply him that cuming is a bad word! LOLS

it really is a bad word! LOLS. don't believe go to dictionary.com!

13th april 2009
met baby at midnight on monday (:
he came to fetch & i was feeling hungry, wanted geylang's frogleg porridge but baby was feeling drowsy so.... it's henderson's teochew porridge baby!!!
each time i have it, i get the shiok sensation man! LOLS, i know i am a glutton.
baby fell asleep whilst watching tv, & i slept only at 5am, woke up ard 1pm next day.
14th april 2009
packed & off we went to clementi swimming complex!
we finally started swimming, was a good beginning as we finally pushed our lazy ass to swim
wahlaoeh, i have to admit my stamina sucks now. swam only 6 laps & it felt like 50laps to me! LOLS. so dead, i am so fking unhealthy can!
went to his hse, bathed & had the lunch cooked by his daddy.
& off we went to alexandra ikea for our shopping
i swear, it was damn tiring cos we couldn't make up our mind or we couldn't agree with one another.
i'm so glad to have settled everything & had our hotdogs (:
went back his hse & started fixing like a contractor. baby was rather unhappy with the thought of having to fix everything up ourselves.
but i was rather optimistic from the start, i thought it would be a great activity for both of us to fix everything up together (:
it was, we started at 6pm & done around 9.30pm.
i love the feeling that we are finally doing something different tgt (:
went for dinner aft tt
i love how the room looks like now, feels as though it's a hotel room! LOLOLOLOLS

15th april 2009

baby went to work this morning & i left for home after that
to pack vs bags since i am supposed to meet one today.
met the buyer at orchard ard 2pm & walked to cineleisure to meet the lovelies.
we went to emax to watch PS I Love You tgt with some snacks which we smuggled in.
then meiqi came, headed to wisma for a shortwhile before training to outram park station for our chinatown porridge & froglegggs! superduper dopppe!
dinner was damn damn shiok (:
bus-ed to clarke quay for cafe iguana. in the bus, we saw one slipper & we burst out laughing saying that the owner has given up on the slippers. was about to take a picture of it but the owner came from the upperdeck for it.
ate nachos & snapped photos before training home with zhihui (:
though it's a normal day, i hope my lovelies are happy with my plans cos we spent the minimal amt of money today xD